Tryna Get Chose


Dating in 2018 is trash. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it was difficult back in the 90s/2000s when there was no caller ID. People were literally waiting by the phone to see if they made the cut for the second date… But there’s something in the water with this new generation though! Between social media making it too easy to creep on people and both sexes progressively becoming “not shit,” we’re all doomed!

Soooo, I’m being a little dramatic, but what’s a girl to think when we’re living in a generation of “trying to get chose.” Ladies when is the last time you slid into his DM’s or approached a man in a public place because YOU were interested? That’s what I thought… while there are a select few of us who are willing to put ourselves out there, the rest of us are waiting for the man who checks all our boxes to come strolling in the front door. That just doesn’t make sense to me! We’re all so independent when it comes to our careers yet when it comes to men we don’t seem to go after WHO we want.

I don’t mean “chasing” once we’re in the relationship either… As I sat back and reflected on my own dating history, I realized that most of the men I’ve dealt with have chose me. While there are plenty of men I had no issues denying, I couldn’t help but wonder “are all my relationships ending up in the trash because these aren’t men I chose?” I think it’s important to realize that we don’t have to settle for the guys who approach us. It is easy and always flattering but we could be missing out on our prince dealing with the opportunist who happen to float by.

Consider this, we usually date people we are attracted to, right? That’s how it all starts. A hot guy approaches us and if the encounter intrigues us, the process begins. That’s what I’m referring to. We’re so busy trying to get boo’d up that we are settling for men that usually end up walking away once they get what they want from the relation-situation-ship. You never know what his criteria is for approaching you versus the other women in the room. Let’s be honest, most men think with their little head rather than from a space of well thought intentions. So why not eliminate all these questions… YOU have the power to pick men who meet your criteria. This doesn’t mean the relationship will instantly work out but it does guarantee that you walk into your next situation on your terms!

Women tend to stick around even after the red flags start popping up. Often, we feel like more can be done or sometimes it’s just about trying that last resort tactic, in hopes of keeping his attention. Since he chose you, you may feel like you have to prove why you are the right choice… WRONG. What’s meant for you is already yours. Never over-exert yourself for anyone’s attention! Picking a man on your terms also means you’ll feel more confident ending a situation that has red flags.

Okay, so you are kind of agreeing with what I’m saying but, honestly, truly…. you are kind of scared of rejection or doing too much by approaching a man first. My sources aren’t analytical, but after talking to plenty of my guy friends, none of them seem to mind if a woman approaches them first! In fact, it takes some of the pressure off of them too. We aren’t the only ones worried about trying to put our best foot forward! It’s okay to step out of your comfort zone and make the first move.

We all have dating patterns and if you’re still single or not in the happy healthy relationship you’ve been dreaming of don’t you think it’s time to try a new approach? Spring has officially sprung today, which means cuffing season has ended ladies. There is a whole slew of men who were boo’d up for the winter coming out hibernation. Put your best sundress on and go out with your girls to find your next catch! Stop waiting to get chose, and YOU start doing the choosing!